Some tips on better living:
“Not everyone has a heart like yours”.
This rings true, as often, we expect to be treated the way we treat others. We presume that because we act a certain way and do certain things, the people around us will reciprocate the good nature. This tends to lead to unhappiness and anger as we soon come to realize that our actions have little to no bearing on the way others behave. Now this isn’t true about all people, but it is something to be wary of. Some people see your good nature and can take advantage of it. This could be done by asking for a great number of favours (at your inconvenience even), acting in a manner they know is wrong but they are aware of the fact you will not do anything. That’s why you need to protect yourself. Put yourself first. Those with a good nature are always looking to put others’ needs before their own. Now don’t get me wrong, helping others and being a good person is great – but not at the expense of yourself. You can’t be doing incredible things and being an amazing person when the energy isn’t reciprocated. Understand what is important to you, and don’t let “being a good person” compromise your values and beliefs on how people should treat you (based on how you treat them). Don’t let people trick you into believing that you don’t deserve to be treated a certain way if you give them what they want in that same aspect.
Something I’ve also come to realize that makes a world of difference is: Not everything requires a reaction – or the same level of reaction. This means that although someone may have upset or wronged you, sometimes what may be best for you is not reacting to the situation at all. Now this doesn’t mean you let people do bad things and not do anything, but rather remove yourself from the situation. Alternatively, if you are upset or wronged by someone, base your reaction off how bad the situation is. You can’t react the same way if someone cuts in front of you in a line and if someone speaks terribly about your mother or slaps you in the face. Have the emotional intelligence to analyze the situation and decide on the scale of your reaction, if any. Now I know this is hard, I can attest to it. But I can also tell you that once you are able to do it, your life becomes so much simpler. Not every disagreement is worth fighting. Not every fight is worth screaming at each other. And not everything requires any action at all.
Another tip on better living is this: Don’t let people bully you into a way of thinking. To relate to my age mates and younger, I’ll reference artist Kanye West. He claims he was misinterpreted and coerced (in a sense) into saying the controversial things he did about slaver in America being a choice, as well as his support (to the dismay of his followers) for Donald Trump.
Everyone has a different idea on what’s best for everyone around them – including you. So know what matters to you and the way you are, and don’t let people influence your thinking and decision making based on their line of thinking. This will impact you negatively as people often give advice based off personal experience – so they will tell you to do something because when they were in a situation similar to yours, that worked for them. Every situation is different, with many variables leading to the conclusion of the event – and so to apply your own life experience to someone else’s situation is stupid. Taking such advice blindly and doing what is told, is equally as stupid. Live your life the way YOU want to. Don’t let every Tom, Dick and Harry tell you who you are or what’s best for you.
The last tip ties into the first one:
Don’t let people’s actions affect you.
People do things for whatever reason they feel like. So never let people’s irrational or seemingly odd actions drag you down. You have no control over them, so why should it worry you? People will do things you will question and question, but sometimes it’s best to not even let them get us to the point we should question them. Just leave them be and focus on yourself. You are the only person you are in control of, and people will always do whatever they feel is best for them – so why let their actions concern you? Regardless of how selfish or crazy a persons actions are, remember that to them – they know why they’re doing it. Apply the same mindset and do whatever is best for you. If you don’t agree with their actions, set yourself apart from them and move on with your life. It isn’t going to kill you.