I got a new lust for life… I got plans. Everything going as right… as it can. The world will never be the same, literally. As my mind returns to its normal functions, the thoughts I had today will become memories. Reality will go back to normal. But it won’t be the same. It will feel the same, look the same but it will be different. Just slightly. Not enough for me to notice and not enough for others to notice too. But it will be different, I will be different. And I’ll know this. Not all the time, but I will know.
Today has been trippy, weird, scary and a lot of fun. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I want to run up and kiss the shroom Gods as if they were a real person, very enlightening. I had a lot of thoughts while I was high. A lot of epiphanies. I don’t remember them all. Probably never will, but I remember a couple. A couple which shook me to my core.
I thought about Farmer Dave and how he is a shroom dealer. And that despite the fear that comes with taking shrooms, Dave has found something. He’s found an identity. He’s found a life. Most of my struggles revolve around figuring out how I’m going to make a life for myself. Yet, along the way, I’ve forgotten that I’m already living a life. I don’t have to make one because I have one. What I need to do is fill up this one with joy. Because no matter what I do to try to make a life, what matters is that I’m happy. And happiness has many layers to it. There’s different kinds.
I can feel happiness from pleasure, happiness from pleasing others, happiness from being with others and happiness from doing something meaningful or difficult. The pursuit of happiness is a great pursuit, but the road has many potholes. The pursuit for happiness through pleasure, can lead to addiction and ego self-centeredness. The pursuit for happiness through pleasing others, can lead to self-abandonment, and a lack of sensitivity towards one’s own needs. The pursuit for happiness through challenging tasks, can lead to an obsession with success. An obsession that may cause someone to ignore the simple, easy, yet just as wonderful pleasures of life.
At the end of each day, people choose what they decide to do with their lives. Each person decides which road they want to take and how far they want to take it. We all draw the line where enough is enough, and our lines are not the same. My threshold could be someone’s start. The challenge is not to judge someone for being different. The challenge is to not enforce my existence on somebody else. They are a person, just like me. The same way I feel like somethings are right, they feel somethings are wrong. Who am I to be the supreme judge of truth, when truth is relative; when truth requires a perceiver to recognize it.