The proverbial friend zone, the place where dreams die and nightmares live. The friend zone is every guy’s worst nightmare. It’s a place where the girl of your dreams is close enough to touch, but too far to feel. Close enough to smell, but too far to taste. Close enough to like, but too far to love. It’s hell in paradise. And the worst part is, it’s usually the guy’s fault.
Now, I would like to draw a distinction between a guy who’s a girl’s friend, and a guy in the friend zone. A guy who’s a girl’s friend, is her friend because he wants to. To him, being a friend is an end; not a means to an end. He doesn’t entertain fantasies of a relationship, or lives in hope that the girl will realize he’s the man of her dreams.
Whereas, a guy in the friend zone is the opposite. He’s not a girl’s friend because he wants to, but because he needs to. To him, being a friend is a means to an end. And that end is dating. A guy in the friend zone is often delusional. He obsesses over how perfect his life would be, if he got the object of his obsession. The friendships he forms are manipulative. They are driven out of lust, jealousy, and neediness disguised as love.
Guys who end up in the friend zone tend to be good guys. If given the opportunity, they’ll treat a woman well. However, they end up there because they are unattractive. Sometimes, they lack the look that women find sexually attractive. Other times, they lack the communication skills to express their emotions. As a result, girls never become aware of their intentions; until it’s too late. Most of the time, they like the girl way more than she likes them, and they’re too delusional to realize it.
Women, here’s a way to find out if your guy friends are actually your friends. Get into a relationship, or at least pretend to be in one. Guys in the friend zone reveal themselves when the object of their fantasy threatens to slip away. They become passive aggressive. They throw back handed compliments and they offer bad advice.
However, they’re not all bad. Sometimes, these are the guys you need to date. They know you, the real you. They know your insecurities, your needs and wants. Most relationships are spent managing the perceptions people have of each other. Friendships are usually spared this. As a result, friends tend to know more information than romantic partners.
Relationships that work are relationships between people who are compatible. Romance is great, chemistry is wonderful, attraction is amazing, but compatibility works. People who are friends, are compatible. So, ask yourself; Would a relationship with your friend work? If yes, then maybe it’s time to take them out the friend zone and into the end zone. They might end up being the last person you ever date. Now, that’s a risk worth taking.